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Unplanned C-Section Changed my Plan to Bottle Feed

Posted on 31 December 2015

Throughout my third pregnancy many people had asked me if I was planning on nursing. My first and immediate response was, "No, I'm bottle feeding." My first two pregnancies, that's what I did, it's what I knew. It had been 12 years since my first and 9 years since my second. I attempted to nurse my first.  I was 17, and didn't have very much luck.  Between inverted nipples (from what I was told) and lack of support, it lasted no more than a month. With my second I didn't even bother trying to nurse, and immediately went for the bottle. So naturally with my third pregnancy, that was my plan. I stocked up on bottles, baby bottle prep machines, and then some. I didn't even purchase one item to help with nursing. I went into labor on June 6, 2015. I progressed fast and was so excited for a smooth labor, but as the day went on I stopped progressing, and in the end I had to have my first c-section. I was so devastated, feeling like my birth plan was being taken away. I cried and cried with this news. I ended up basically falling asleep through my delivery and even for a bit after the fact. When they rolled us into the recovery room and handed my 11lb 6oz peanut to me they asked me the question, "Breastfeeding or bottle?"  And even though I had this plan, this set thing, I responded "breast."  At that moment I knew that things didn't go as I had planned and that was hard to accept. I thought somehow if I could nurse my son, even for a day, a week, a month, maybe that somehow it would work this time. I had really doubted myself but really, really wanted to at least try. It wasn't easy at first.  I really doubted that I would make it past the first month, and I really wanted to stop at some points because of the doubt. But I surrounded myself with many supportive people, and continued with nursing. Here we are and my son is almost 7 months now and doing great!  I don't look at nursing as a day by day moment any longer.  It's a bond, that I get to share with my son every day and am grateful for. I wouldn't change a thing about it!  I'm looking forward to seeing how far we can go in this journey together, mommy and baby.  I'm so happy that my son, all 21 lbs, and I have made it this far, and wouldn't have it any other way.  

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